The Power of Thoughts: Understanding and Shaping Your Reality

If you’ve been following along with me on this journey of teasing out the depths of the human psyche, and read many of my past newsletters, then this may seem like old news to you. However, I believe the idea bears repeating. I have found that just because I hear something once, twice, or even ten times it doesn’t necessarily mean it sinks in all the way. This is why I’m discussing the topic: what you think is who you are.

Each one of us has thoughts that govern our actions and behaviors. Some of those actions and behaviors are good, others may not be so pleasant. They may even ebb and flow depending on who we’re with or the circumstances we find ourselves in. 

Regardless, there is a core set of ingrained beliefs, whether developed through our own life experiences, or through programming via our upbringing, school, religion, etc. that tend to stick with us for extended periods of time.

These beliefs create and composite the essence of who we are as human beings. Here are a few quotes to highlight this sentiment.

When it comes down to it, our mere existence as human beings is nothing more than an accumulation of thoughts. 

Who I am as a person is nothing more than my conscious or unconscious thoughts and beliefs. Some of my thoughts are egotistical, fearful, full of doubt and disbelief, and are responsible for holding me back in life. 

As I endeavor to become my ideal self and a better person, I am filled with thoughts that are loving, compassionate, encouraging, full of hope and desire, and help spur me forward to see this ideal version of myself come to pass.

Thoughts Have Power

If you remain unconscious, meaning you go through life carried about by the whims of your unconscious thoughts, then you are subject to situations and circumstances surrounding you. The victim mentality sinks in, and eventually, you can feel stuck in a semblance of hell that you can’t seem to escape from.

This is because your thoughts have power. They influence your decisions, how you think and feel about yourself and others, and create a mindset of I can’t, I don’t have what it takes, I’m not worthy. 

Continuing to stay within this mindset will eventually lead you to a place where you believe whatever you think to be true, and as a result, most people get stuck there and feel helpless when they find themselves in a situation that seems overwhelming. 

After floundering for a bit, they’ll begin to unconsciously think the same thoughts that create the same feelings, and the carousel ride begins. Since they haven’t become conscious of their unconscious thinking, they cycle through the thoughts and feelings over and over again.

However, this doesn’t have to be the case. Many people are unaware of this, but you can choose to think something other than what you’ve been thinking. You can choose to think new thoughts!

In doing so, you begin to take your power back. You’re no longer a victim of your old mindset. You realize that you have a say in the matter and whenever those unconscious thoughts try to dig their roots back in, you catch them and cut them off.

This can be much easier said than done. 

Depending on how long you’ve been thinking specific thoughts and the regularity with which you find yourself in those thought flows, can determine the amount of time, energy, and effort needed to correct them. 

For many of us, there are a plethora of beliefs that were ingrained into us during our formative years. We still believe, at a core level at least, certain things that may have been said or transmitted to us through the unconscious actions of our family and friends. 

Our teachers or kids at school may have said or done things to cause you to think and feel a certain way as well.

Many of these thoughts and feelings can get trapped within the foundation of our belief systems about who we are as individuals, how others perceive us, and how the world actually operates.

Who Are You Really?

It’s easy for us to say, I’m this person or that person because I’ve done these things or worked these jobs, and therefore I can say, this is who I am.

However, it’s easy to forget that just because we may have those experiences, it doesn’t explain why we still act out the way we do when certain events happen in our lives that bring out some of those core thoughts and feelings.

The other day I snapped at my daughter for something pretty insignificant. I was already flustered by a few things that had happened earlier, but in hindsight, those few things shouldn’t have bothered me as much as they did.

Despite all the work I’ve been doing to grow and change from the old Josiah to a newer version, there are still pieces of the programming that I haven’t been able to work out yet. Even though I feel like I’ve done a lot of work over the past few years, there are still bits and pieces that remain that rear their ugly little heads, reminding me that I still have work to do.

Some of those things were ingrained from childhood. Some of them are from my teenage years. Some of them from my early to late twenties. I’m sure some from my thirties and over the next decade, there will be some from my forties, and on and on until I die.

This isn’t bad. It’s life.

Everything isn’t perfect, and it never will be. Even if I was able to upgrade my entire being, I’m sure, at some point, something would happen that would cause me to snap at my daughter, even if she’s doing the best she can.

It doesn’t mean I just give up and say, “Oh well, I guess I’ll never get it.” On the contrary, I acknowledge my mistakes and remind myself that I don’t have to act or react that way. 

I give myself the grace to let go, not beat myself up, and try again.

This example is to illustrate that there are still things I need to deal with. There are issues I still need to address, but I can’t change everything all at once. However, this is why I ask, who are you really? 

There are a lot of people who get angry but never say anything. There are people who get angry and say too much. There are people who are sad or depressed and pretend they aren’t. People who are bitter but still smile and act polite.

Internally though…whew…it’s an emotional rollercoaster.

The goal is to start working on one thing, and then another, and then another. You don’t go at everything all at once; you will drive yourself crazy. The interesting thing though, is once you start really working on one thing, it begins to bleed over into the other areas.

It won’t all be perfect, but you’ll start to notice changes that weren’t there before.

One Step at A Time

By focusing on one area to work on, you eliminate the distractions brought up by other areas. When you begin to heal that major area you struggle with, the other areas get relief as well, but it also begins to show you where some of these other areas might be triggering your main issue.

Let’s use anger as an example. I like to use anger because everyone is familiar with it. We’ve all experienced anger at some point in our lives in both large and small ways. 

Now, if you’re angry, there are generally other issues going on underneath the surface that haven’t been addressed. You could be depressed, or feel ashamed and embarrassed, you could feel unworthy or stupid, you might be tired or sad. It could be a long week at work and everyone is just getting on your nerves before it finally erupts at home with your kids or significant other. 

Losing control isn’t the only option, neither is suppressing the anger. You can actively diffuse the anger in real-time. 

How?

It’s simple. You learn to catch it as soon as possible. Once you do that, you transmute the anger into something else. You notice it and pay attention to it. Maybe it has some merit so you allow yourself to contemplate that merit. Then you decide if it’s worth holding onto or acting out.

In some instances, it will be. Certain things do require an angry response. Even Jesus, of all people, got angry when he braided together a cord and then marched into the temple to turn over tables and chase people out because they turned it into a marketplace instead of the house of God it was meant to be.

Instances like this are few and far between though. I believe that the majority of the time, anger is overplayed and is not an appropriate response. Taking from an example in the scriptures again, Peter, one of Jesus' disciples, cut off a man’s ear in anger. In this instance, Jesus rebuked him and then healed the man’s ear because the anger wasn’t justified, although Peter thought it was.

If Peter had been watching his thoughts though, he could have checked himself before he acted out. He could have brandished his sword and then taken a step back and thought if what he was about to do was necessary.

Most of the time it’s not. 

And this is where the magic begins to happen. Each time you catch yourself, even if you’ve “snapped at your daughter” you begin to change from being that angry person to someone who doesn’t have to react that way any longer.

Repetition, along with focus, allows you to begin to take hold and make the changes you wish to see. Slowly, over time, you begin to notice you don’t act the same way you used to. You begin to notice you don’t allow yourself to “go there” like you normally would.

All it takes is becoming aware that you’re “going there” in the first place.

Most people are on auto-pilot. There’s so much going on that we just live in a perpetual state of reaction instead of taking a moment, and then acting.

Had I done that with my daughter, observed the events, removed myself from the reactionary impulse, and responded with the understanding that I am now acting out of my will, of my own volition, then our situation would have ended differently than it had instead of both of us feeling upset, and then me feeling guilty for reacting the way I did.

Apply It to Your Life

Overcoming many long years of depression was tough, but I essentially did it using the method outlined above. 

The main thing I did was begin to recognize my thoughts. I became aware of what I was thinking on a daily basis, and I began to change the thoughts I had as many times as needed until I reached a place where I no longer thought those thoughts that caused me to feel depressed.

Initially, once you become aware of how many times you think a thought in line with the process you’re attempting to change, it can seem overwhelming. 

I didn’t realize how many thoughts I had that kept me in that spiral of depression. I was so used to thinking that way that it felt normal. I literally thought everyone felt how I did because it felt so normal to me.

Thankfully, I realized that not everyone did feel how I felt. Many people actually enjoyed life, and it wasn’t some form of manufactured enjoyment. They really enjoyed living.

There are many people who are not angry. Many who are not bitter or resentful, sad or grieving, anxious or depressed.

Just because you might feel the way you do, it doesn’t mean everyone else feels that way, and it doesn’t mean you are destined to feel that way for the rest of your life.

If you want to take control of your life, you can. If you want to take your power back and begin thinking thoughts that will bring you peace and joy, you can!

All you have to do is decide you want to change, and then work on making the change. One step at a time. One thought at a time.

The more you practice capturing those thoughts you don’t want to think, and you become aware of them, then replace them with thoughts you do want to think, the faster you can change.

This isn’t a get-rich-quick scheme either. It’s going to take some time. It may take some therapy. You may need to stop doing certain things or seeing certain people that tend to put you in that place you don’t want to be in.

Ultimately, the decision is yours on how fast or slow you go. I wish I would have known this when I was on my journey. I think I could have gotten to where I am today in half the time, but that’s the process of learning.

I hope you found this beneficial. Be sure to share with someone who needs to read this. Follow me on my socials and sign up for my FREE newsletter if you haven’t already.

Much love to you all.

Josiah

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